Living With Faust One Dead Vacation
by Butterfly-Razor
Summary: Read original story first if you haven't. An unreleased Sub Chapter from Living with Faust. Takes place in some house, but the house is more of a problem then Faust. Still, Faust is here to make it worse. Also Teepo gets possessed by Bridget plushies.
1. Day 666

Living With Faust- One Dead Vacation

Day 666 1 am - 4 am.

Today didn't quite start as I would have liked it, besides, it wasn't even breakfast time. To blame the matters of this moment on, would be none other than that retarded Mr. Crazy Bagman, Faust. To get to my point though, today started with just about everyone asleep in their beds, waiting for the sun to rise to start another day... That would become a short lived dream. Me and Teepo had been playing Dead Rising all night and were just a little bit paranoid now about going to sleep. I think the game is just a little to realistic, because when Faust walked in on us playing it, with beat the crap out of him until we figured it was him, then we hit him a couple more times for good measure. Yep, it was fun too. So around 2 am, we started to hear noises like cars being started or something like that, but that freaked us out even more, since no one around us has a car...anymore at least. But we decided to try to wake everyone up since we were paranoid to the point that we thought that zombies were going to get us. First, Teepo woke up his girlfriend Kaylee from sleeping, which threw him out of the room after waking her up. We later tried Chris, but he tried to eat my arm, then Jack, but he threw one of those petrified gerbils that Faust had given Teepo when he was sick. We thought Faust had gone back to sleep, well, because he has slept before, but when we opened his door, we ended up walking into a repair shop, which Faust then blinded us by lighting up a blow torch near our eyes. We freaking walked out of his room after walking into a couple of things. So we decided to eat some breakfast in the kitchen...after we turned on a few lights in the house, mainly the big ones. We got done with breakfast around 3-4 am, and then we played more Dead Rising until the sun rose.

Day 666 5 am- 12 noon.

We passed out for about an hour while we were playing the zombie killing mall trapped game of Dead Rising. Now, the thing I remember waking up to is the sound of a bus driving; now the bus sound wasn't normal, because it sounded like there was a team of five thousand demons for the motor. Anyway, when I woke, I found myself in a bus seat, Teepo in the one across from mine, still asleep like the lump he is. Two seats down was Jack, sitting up sleeping, Chris was trying to eat his hand, I guess he was still asleep to, and Kaylee was, I guess fixing her hair in the seat behind Teepo. I looked up only to see that the bus driver was none other than Faust. "Faust, where are we, and where the hell are we going?" I asked him. "You're on a bus, and you're now on vacation to a hotel get-away!" He screamed into the loud speaker device. That woke up Jack. He tried to punch the window to get out, but his fist bounced off, and smacked him back in the face, knocking him back into sleep. It was now about 11 am and Chris was up, Jack woke from his unconscious state after knocking himself out. Teepo was still sound asleep until Kaylee picked up a Bridget plushie he'd been holding onto like a little kid, which he immediately woke up and snatched it back from he hand. "Mine." Teepo stated as he started to look out the window, but could not see anything since the bus was traveling to fast. Then it was noon.

Day 666 12:01 pm- 10 pm

Yep, it was noon by my clock that I had one my wrist. I think it's broken though since some of the screws are falling out, and that the front glass piece is broken. Any who, we were still on the bus when I noticed that everything was starting to slow down, considering the speed that Faust had been driving at. "Faust" I asked "Are we running out of gasoline?" "Nope" he replied. After about another hour, the bus came to a halt and Faust announced over the loud speaker that we'd run out of gas. "Faust, where are we?" I asked him, but couldn't help but laugh at his insane looking bus driver's uniform he'd made, probably the night before. Teepo went up to the front and looked at the dash board, and said "Faust, what's that straw attached to in the dash board?" "To the gas tank, why?" he replied back. "Idiot" I said. So now we don't know where we are, we're out of gas for the bus, and we're stuck with Faust on some "vacation" that he'd dragged us on. After we got out of the bus, we looked around for a house for which we could call a tow truck or something. Now I know you think this is gonna end up in some stupid horror movie thing, but we did find a house, the only problem was that the doors to that stupid fucking house was locked, and it didn't look like anyone was living their either, so we decided to camp out in the front lawn. And then comes Teepo to write more.


	2. Day 667

Day 667 - 9:30 AM - 9:45 AM

Well today we all woke up around the time listed, it wasn't fun sleeping on the front lawn of some abandoned house, and stupid Faust wouldn't let us on the bus because he came to believe it was "cursed." It wasn't of course, it only stopped because he drank all the gas. As Emerld said, the house was locked so we couldn't get in, but we we're all pretty tired so we didn't bother breaking in. "Well, good morning everyone, now how do we get in the house?" I asked. "Why do we need in the house? We need to get home!" said Chris. "I know, but there might be a phone that works in the house, also we might be staying here for a few hours, maybe even a day or two." I explained because I didn't even know if we were in the town we lived in. Then, the door suddenly flew open! Out walked Faust, holding a tray of muffins. "Who wants breakfast?" he asked. "Forget breakfast! How did you get in the house!?" I yelled at him. "I found a key." he said as he pointed to a picture of a key he had painted on the wall, above was a giant hole shaped like Faust. We just walked in the house after words, not even yelling at him or nothing, and yes Chris took the muffins.

Day 667 - 9:46 AM - 1:00 PM.

The first thing we were greeted to when we walked in was a gigantic mural of what looked like Pyramid Head. "Whoever lived here must have really liked Silent Hill…" I said as I just stared at it holding my Bridget plushy. Not long after we entered everyone scattered around the huge house. I walked into a room to find Chris smacking a metal shutter with a sludge hammer. He then burst threw the door with the hammer and looked at me saying: "I found the food!" I then looked slightly to his side to see a button that said "food storage" on it. I pressed it while Chris was climbing threw the hole he made and the shutters rose, with Chris still in the middle. I panicked and left him there, but if he can reach the food at least, he'll be ok. I found Kaylee about 10 minutes later staring at a door. "What are you staring at that door for?" I asked her. "Because when I opened it a minute ago, a giant eye was staring at me." she replied. I then opened the door to see for myself, and sure enough there was an eye! "I got it!" screamed Faust as he came from around the corner, riding a tricycle and holding a lance! He then proceeded to jam the end of the lance into MY eye. "GOD DAMN IT, MOTHER FUCKING, HELL! NOT MY EYE FAUST!" I yelled as that had hurt like hell. Then he replied: "Whoops, my bad." After that he poked the big eye with his finger, it groaned and then went away, leading us into the hallway it was blocking. "You guys go ahead, I'm going to find Emerld and Jack." I said as I walked off, leaving Kaylee alone with Faust. She ran up to me shortly after, not wanting to be near the bagman.

Day 667 - 3:15 PM - 9:00 PM

I had wandered around for hours the house with Kaylee with no luck of finding Jack or Emerld. I did manage to find Chris again, he had gotten out of the shutter and fallen asleep in a big sack of potato chips. I noticed when walking down the hallway that the ceiling was dripping green stuff, and when I looked up the site I saw… Faust was hanging from the ceiling covered in jell-o! He then jumped down, barley missing me upon landing. "Faust, why are you covered in that stuff!?" I asked him. "I found it in this one room, it was all over the floor so I decided to roll around in it." He replied. Then he shook himself off like a dog getting jell-o all over us. "Well, see ya, I'm going to play with these special holes I found!" he said as he jumped into a portal that appeared in the wall. "That's weird…" I thought to myself as I continued searching for the other two. I finally found Emerld at about an hour later, he was in a big office like room, staring up. "There you are you bastard, we've been looking for you for hours! And what is that you are looking at!?" I asked. "Jack is up there trying with a live severed moose head." He explained. I then looked up to find Jack with a stick trying to ward off a moos head that was biting at him. "Come on ya moose! Move out of the way so I can get my super ball back!" he yelled at this living dead moose head. The moose's eyes then began to swell, and eventually hands burst threw them! This shock knocked Jack off from the high place he was, and he fell, he's ok though, a discarded sock broke his fall. Then we looked back at the moose, and recognized the hands, they belonged to Faust! His hands then went back in and his head pushed threw the moose's mouth, after that he jumped down to were we were, wearing the moose head. "Hey this is cool, I'm keeping it as a hat!" he stated as we all returned to the front room.

Day 667 - 10:15 PM

We retuned to the front room after the moose incident, and we mostly just sat there. Chris met up with us too, and we decided that we shouldn't go exploring until the morning. Something about this house just didn't seem right, especially the skeleton hanging from a noose in the corner of the room which just seemed to stare at me with his eyeless skull. Since we didn't find any bedrooms all day, we decided to sleep in the front room, under the giant Pyramid Head mural. I did wake up some time during the night though, and went into the kitchen to find Emerld sitting with a man that had a triangle shaped helmet that looked a lot like the Pyramid hoods that executioners wore, and that's because it was one. My eyes were huge, but Emerld didn't even seem to mind, he was just sitting there drinking coffee with the guy! I just walked away, and hoped Emerld wasn't hurt that night…

Day 666 1 am - 4 am.

Today didn't quite start as I would have liked it, besides, it wasn't even breakfast time. To blame the matters of this moment on, would be none other than that retarded Mr. Crazy Bagman, Faust. To get to my point though, today started with just about everyone asleep in their beds, waiting for the sun to rise to start another day... That would become a short lived dream. Me and Teepo had been playing Dead Rising all night and were just a little bit paranoid now about going to sleep. I think the game is just a little to realistic, because when Faust walked in on us playing it, with beat the crap out of him until we figured it was him, then we hit him a couple more times for good measure. Yep, it was fun too. So around 2 am, we started to hear noises like cars being started or something like that, but that freaked us out even more, since no one around us has a car...anymore at least. But we decided to try to wake everyone up since we were paranoid to the point that we thought that zombies were going to get us. First, Teepo woke up his girlfriend Kaylee from sleeping, which threw him out of the room after waking her up. We later tried Chris, but he tried to eat my arm, then Jack, but he threw one of those petrified gerbils that Faust had given Teepo when he was sick. We thought Faust had gone back to sleep, well, because he has slept before, but when we opened his door, we ended up walking into a repair shop, which Faust then blinded us by lighting up a blow torch near our eyes. We freaking walked out of his room after walking into a couple of things. So we decided to eat some breakfast in the kitchen...after we turned on a few lights in the house, mainly the big ones. We got done with breakfast around 3-4 am, and then we played more Dead Rising until the sun rose.

Day 666 5 am- 12 noon.

We passed out for about an hour while we were playing the zombie killing mall trapped game of Dead Rising. Now, the thing I remember waking up to is the sound of a bus driving; now the bus sound wasn't normal, because it sounded like there was a team of five thousand demons for the motor. Anyway, when I woke, I found myself in a bus seat, Teepo in the one across from mine, still asleep like the lump he is. Two seats down was Jack, sitting up sleeping, Chris was trying to eat his hand, I guess he was still asleep to, and Kaylee was, I guess fixing her hair in the seat behind Teepo. I looked up only to see that the bus driver was none other than Faust. "Faust, where are we, and where the hell are we going?" I asked him. "You're on a bus, and you're now on vacation to a hotel get-away!" He screamed into the loud speaker device. That woke up Jack. He tried to punch the window to get out, but his fist bounced off, and smacked him back in the face, knocking him back into sleep. It was now about 11 am and Chris was up, Jack woke from his unconscious state after knocking himself out. Teepo was still sound asleep until Kaylee picked up a Bridget plushie he'd been holding onto like a little kid, which he immediately woke up and snatched it back from he hand. "Mine." Teepo stated as he started to look out the window, but could not see anything since the bus was traveling to fast. Then it was noon.

Day 666 12:01 pm- 10 pm

Yep, it was noon by my clock that I had one my wrist. I think it's broken though since some of the screws are falling out, and that the front glass piece is broken. Any who, we were still on the bus when I noticed that everything was starting to slow down, considering the speed that Faust had been driving at. "Faust" I asked "Are we running out of gasoline?" "Nope" he replied. After about another hour, the bus came to a halt and Faust announced over the loud speaker that we'd run out of gas. "Faust, where are we?" I asked him, but couldn't help but laugh at his insane looking bus driver's uniform he'd made, probably the night before. Teepo went up to the front and looked at the dash board, and said "Faust, what's that straw attached to in the dash board?" "To the gas tank, why?" he replied back. "Idiot" I said. So now we don't know where we are, we're out of gas for the bus, and we're stuck with Faust on some "vacation" that he'd dragged us on. After we got out of the bus, we looked around for a house for which we could call a tow truck or something. Now I know you think this is gonna end up in some stupid horror movie thing, but we did find a house, the only problem was that the doors to that stupid fucking house was locked, and it didn't look like anyone was living their either, so we decided to camp out in the front lawn. And then comes Teepo to write more.


	3. Day 668

Day 668 - sometime in the morning

Well, as you, the reader of this begotten journal can read, we're stuffed in some weird ass mansion. To start things off, I'm guessing from yesterday, that Teepo and the others are just a little freaked out by this place, not me though, it's actually kind of nice since it's so big. Anyway, this morning, I was walking around the house with Teepo, since we separated into pairs to search more of this cool house. We were walking through one of those big-ass hallways that you can find in most mansions, and they're a bunch of old paintings and photos hanging on the wall. As we passed by one of them, I swear it started to follow me with it's eye's. "What are you looking at?" I asked the painting. "Who are you talking to?" Teepo asked back as if I meant him. "This painting" I replied, I turned back to the painting who was still looking at me!" Stop staring at me ya bastard!" I yelled at the painting. So I stared back at it, playing it's own game, but with the intent to win. Eventually, that son-of-a-bitch blinked, "I WIN!" I screamed into the paintings face, which it then stopped starring at me. "Who the hell are you talking to Emerld?" asked Teepo baffled. This painting was starring at me, so I beat it at it's own game!" I told him bluntly. "ummm, there is no painting Emerld" said Teepo " This is just an empty hallway." "But there was a painting here, and there!" I shouted and pointed, but all the pictures and paintings that once covered the walls were gone. "I don't get it" said Teepo. "Never mind, let's keep looking then." I said to him as I became depressed at my victory not going appreciated.

Day 668 - **_mirror mirror on the wall, who's that starring back at me!?_**

After the incident in the hallway this morning, Teepo decided to go with Kaylee and Chris, I was stuck with Jack, an I have no clue as to where Faust is at. Anyway, Me and Jack had just found some lunch that Chris hadn't eaten yet, ate that, and then decided to search the house some more. I did eventually have to go to the bathroom though, since I found it the first time we entered the home. Anyway, I was in the bathroom, zipping up my pants, when I noticed some one else in the mirror!" Hey you, what are you doing watching me do stuff?!" I asked the person in the mirror. the other person just stared at me, "not this game again!" I said in disbelief. I then turned around to see the person standing behind me in the mirror, only to see nothing when I turned around. "What the?" I said to myself. When I turned back to the mirror to wash my hands, that damn person was back! "That's it!" I howled. I spun around to face the person, but they weren't there again! "This is stupid." I said to myself. After I left the bathroom, I told Jack about it. "Are you sure that the person in the mirror wasn't you?" he asked, looking at me like I was the idiot. "Duh" I responded to him" Go look for yourself!" Which he did, and didn't see anything in the mirror besides his own reflection. "Emerld, there's nothing in the mirror!" he stated to me. "I looked back into the mirror and the person was back! "Look!" " The person in the mirror's back!" I yelled at Jack, who sun around only to end up hitting the wall, and the mirror. he ended up knocking himself unconscious by doing that, so I dragged his body back to the main room, and let him sleep. I told Teepo what had happened in the bathroom, and told me that he sees someone in the mirror in the bathroom all the time, he called it a reflection. I let the argument hang, only because Teepo went into the bathroom I'd seen the other person in, and didn't see anything, not even his own reflection, which he ignored.

Day 668 - Night time.

Well, this day could have gone better if those damn peoples have believed me about all that shit that I saw. First, to recap today, me and Teepo went into a long hallway, I thought the walls were covered in photos and paintings, and had a starring contest with one, which I won thank you, then Teepo didn't believe me about the eyes following me, and then all those god damn photos and paintings disappear off the walls. Then after we split up, and I went with jack, some freaking person kept watching me in the damn bathroom! Jack of course didn't believe me because he doesn't have an admirer, but the damn bastard kept disappearing every time I turned around! Then, Jack ended up knocking himself out on the mirror and wall, so i let him sleep in the main room. I told the others, and Teepo checked the remains of the mirror, and didn't even see his own reflection! But the weird has yet to end this day. Even later still, everyone decided to go in one large group, so that way if any weird crap happened, we'd all be able to see it. As we were walking down one of the hallways in the mansion, Chris pointed out to alert us that the walls had started to bleed!" What the fuck?" Jack stated as he backed away from the oozing wall." Disgusting" stated Kaylee as she leaned closer to Teepo for comfort. "That's just nasty" said Chris, even he was unwilling to taste the walls secretion. Me on the other hand, walked other to the wall, slapped my hand across the wall, brought my hand up, licked the substance that looked like blood, and swallowed it. "EWWW, NASTY!" Said everyone who was watching me. "What? The walls at home bleed all the time!" I said back to them "It tastes like strawberry jell-o." and with that comment, Faust came out of the ceiling, covered this time in red jell-o, and Chris ate the wall. After that, we showered off Faust with a hose we found out side, and went to bed back inside the main room. Sheesh, people nowadays have no freaking manners. Anyway, Teepo will write more for those, and us, interested in this stupid vacation of ours. Oh, and I had coffee with some guy with a pyramid head helmet on again, he is quite nice to talk to, and I should introduce him to Teepo.


	4. Day 669

Day 669 - 12:00 noon - 2:30 PM

After another day of sleeping in the front room, we still have found no bedrooms. "This can't be right, this house is huge, there has to be some bedrooms!" I said to the gang. "You know, we've slept here for two days now, but has anyone… checked the phone?" asked Kaylee. Everyone just stared at each other for a second… then we all dashed for the phone. Of course, there was no dial tone at all. "We'll at least we know now." said Emerld. Afterwards, we went around looking for bedrooms, I didn't find any, but I did find a room filled with human bones. "Someone really need to clean this up don't you think?" I asked Chris who was with me at the time. We then noticed a giant spider crawling down from the far side of the room. "Whoa, that's a big spider!" Chris said. "Ack! I hate spiders! Get Faust in here!" I said as I hid behind Chris. With that, Chris called Faust, who came barging in with his harpoon gun that he has with him at all time. "Die demon from lleh!" he screamed as he shot multiple harpoons into the spider until it burst into ooz. "Gross…" I said as I left the room. I went with Chris afterwards to the basement. "It's dark in here." said Chris as we could not see anything. "I need a light." he said. Then, a suit of armor got up from the corner, I could see because I was on the stairs and the armor had a flashlight attached to it, I don't know why though. Anyway, the armor walked over to Chris, I would've freaked out due to my extreme paranoia, but Chris just took that flashlight from it and said: "Hey thanks man." he then slapped the armor on the back. **Hard. **It then collapsed and Chris walked over it. "I found a cool knife, it was in this skeletons rib cage." he explained as he showed me the knife. "Didn't that freak you out?" I asked. "What?" he asked back. "The living suit of armor!" I said. "That was a suit of armor? I thought it sounded clunky." he replied showing no sign of fear at all.

Day 669 - 2:42 PM - 3:37 PM

We left the basement and returned to the front room. Apparently Jack had found a piano that started to play itself. "And then I smashed that sum bitch with my sweet Ryu style glove!" he explained his story. Kaylee apparently walked into a room engulfed with flames, she immediately closed the door and returned to the front room. Then, we all noticed the wall begging to spell out a message, it read: You won't survive the night. "Faust quit writing on the wall!" Chris yelled at him as he saw him holding a paint brush up to the "l" in wall. "Sorry, I just thought it'd be funny! Like one of them whore movies!" he said as he tossed the brush. "That's horror, not whore." I explained. "Also, I found this switch two hours ago." he said as he pointed to a switch on the wall reading "stairs." "Well, pull it!" said Emerld. He did, and stairs fell from the ceiling, almost crushing Jack in the process, luckily he spotted a dime and moved out of the way. "We'll, lets goes up!" said Faust as we all did just that.

Day 669 - 3:40 PM - 3:55 PM

We all went upstairs to find a hallway full of bedrooms! Emerld opened the first door to find an empty room with only a bed. "Yep, this is my room, I get the normal one for once!" he stated as he usually has bad experiences with rooms. Chris opened the next door, his room was normal too, just not as empty as Emerld's. One thing that was different though was the fact that there was another door leading into a tunnel. Jack opened the next door to find a boxing arena… yeah, a boxing arena. We just let him be. Then Faust opened a door to a room, his room was yet another room full of human bones, complete with the wolf man chained up in the corner. "Wee! I'm going to name him Tangy!" He announced as he jumped and hugged the wolf man, we just closed the door… I opened the last door to find… a room full of Bridget plushies!!! "THIS IS MY ROOM!!!" I screamed as I dove into the room. Kaylee followed me not

really because she wanted to spend time with me, but because she was worried about the look in my eye.

Day 669 5:10 PM - 6:15 PM

I spent about an hour with the cute plushies before actually leaving the room. When I did, I met up with all the others back in the front room, all of them but Chris and Faust looked freaked. "Whoa, what's wrong with you guys?" I asked them. "What's wrong?" replied Emerld. "I was in my room just minding my own business when I hear all these voices mumbling in the air! Then I look over and see some guy sitting in the corner smiling at me! And then he fades away, how am I supposed to kick his ass for creeping me out now!?" "You didn't have it that bad Emerld." explained Jack. "In my room I was working out when all my equipment keeps ending up on the other side of the room! Every time I put it back in place I felt terrible chills. Then, my punching bag falls over on me, and I hear some little kid laugh! 57 minutes later I remembered the bag was on top of me and left." I then looked at Chris who was just lounging in a chair. "What about you?" I asked him. "I found out that tunnel in my room leads straight to the food storage!" he said calmly. "What!?" yelled Kaylee surprised. "I walked passed your room to go the bathroom and heard horrible noises! It sounded like someone was being torn apart from the inside out!" she explained. "Oh, yeah, I think I left the window open or something." he said not even realizing that his room was the most haunted of all. I then looked at Faust. "And how could I forget you, how was your day in your new room?" I asked. "I hugged Tangy to hard and made him stop breathing… I'm sad now, give me a hug!" he said as he walked towards me with his arms wide open. "Uh, I got to go back upstairs, the plushies need me." I said as I darted back up stairs. I spent the rest of the day in there.

Day 669 - 11:00 PM - 11:11 PM

I was still awake at this hour, I couldn't sleep with so many plushies in the bed. "Teepo, please put some of those plushies on the shelf, I can't sleep!" Kaylee complained to me. "No, don't worry about her, she can't make me put you up." I said talking to the plushies… "Are you talking to those dolls???" she asked now more awake. "No, I'm not going to kick her out of the room, she's my girlfriend!" I sat still talking to the Bridget plushies. "Teepo, are you ok?" she said now getting worried. "I know you guys love me! But she loves me too!" I said still ignoring her. "Ok, I'm going to go out and sleep somewhere else, you're creeping me out." She said as she opened the door, then she looked down to see a plushie in the hall staring at her with glowing eyes. She freaked and ran outside only to be hit by a tractor driven by a dead farmer.

Day 669 Midnight.

"Now what did you learn?" I asked Kaylee as I lie her down in the bed next to the plushies. "I want those plushies gone tomorrow!" she said as she turned out the light. "Nah, she's just kidding." I said in the dark.


	5. Day 670

Day 670 5 am

Welcome one and all! no really, you're not welcome so just don't fucking join us. "Faust!" Teepo said in the dark, "Where the fuck do you keep getting all this jell-o!?" as Teepo and I were trying to give Faust another bath since this time he got covered in mud. "Stop making it come out of the fucking hose!" I yelled at Faust as I threw a box of soap detergent at him. After I threw the box it collided into Faust's face and he started to foam out of every orifice on his body. "That's fucking nasty!" yelled Teepo as some soapy foam landed on one of his plushies that he'd been bringing around with him. Faust then started shaking all the foam off of himself and was extremely clean. But we were soaked and looked like fifty dogs slobbered all over us. "DAMMIT FAUST!" screamed Teepo as he looked at his plushies and were covered in the foam. Faust ran back into the house and we chased after, by the time we got to where he was hiding, it was now 8 am, and the others were still asleep. anyway, we chased Faust into a room that was completely white, and I mean WHITE! There were around twenty lights shining around the entire room and we spotted Faust in the corner, melding into the wall, sort of like a ninja, either that, or our eye's were burning outta their sockets because of the lights. And that's what happened this morning, and don't worry, we made it back to the living room...with our guide dog...wait a minute, that was FAUST!

Day 670 noon

Yep, our brains went to poop, seeing as how Faust blinded us earlier this day with the "white room." Anyway, we decided to follow Faust around the house to locate the stash of jell-o that he kept appearing covered in. He ended up leading us into some dimly light room, which sorta looked like a fortune telling booth thing, like the ones at the carnival. There was a table in the center of the room, and for reason, Faust was sitting at the head of the table, wearing a turban on top of his paper bag, causing him to look even dumber than he normally does. Besides him at the head of the table, Jack, Chris, and Kaylee were seated at the table in sorta like a circle thing, kinda like a séance. "Faust, what is going on here?" demanded Teepo. "We're going to contact the spirits of this home and see what we have been doing wrong." replied Faust. "Meh, fine, just don't kill us." I said back to him as I sat down, and Teepo found his collection of dolls at the table next to his girlfriend. "You need to get rid of those things." Kaylee said with a shudder. "Fk no, they're awesome." replied Teepo with a small note of defiance in his voice. "HEHEHEHEHEHEPOEMDNFPOKEMON!" Screamed Faust as he concentrated on the small glass orb sitting on the table. "I see...I seeeeeeee..." "What?" I asked "**ME!**" said Faust shoving the stupid glass ball into my face. A second later the table started to rise, only coming to a stop as I smashed it down with my fist, telling Faust to stop lifting the table. Soon, a mysterious figure started to crawl from underneath the table. "What's that?" asked Jack. "UHHHHHH!" it groaned as it crawled out. "I know what it is" I said, "It's the creature from the black lagoon!" "did you say the pitcher from the black lickerish factory?!?!" demanded Chris. "NO" Teepo glared back at him. "The creature is from a old horror movie that came out in the 1950's" " I'm just surprised that I knew that." said Teepo, now questioning his own brain. "Teepo, where did you learn that?" I asked. Teepo then pointed at the doll, "Ask them." he said. "Never mind." I replied before shooting the creature with a 12 gauge, ending its miserable life. After that excitement for the day, we went back and chilled for awhile in the rooms.

Day 670 10:49 pm

Well, it's around 11 at night now, and I'm currently looking for the bathroom with Teepo since we can't really find it. "Hey, I think I found the light switch!" stated Teepo. By the way, we haven't been able to find the light switch, so we've been traveling around the house in the darkness, unable to find anything. "AHHHH!!!!!!" Screamed an anonymous voice in the dark. I flipped the real light switch by my hand and it turned out that we we're in the kitchen and Teepo flipped the garbage disposal switch while Chris had his hand in it. "OHH SHIT!" I said as both me and Teepo ran over to Chris, who now only had one hand. "You guys suck!" yelled Chris, " I didn't even get to finish my donut!" "What the?!" said Teepo as he watched Chris' hand grow back. "Meh, it does that from time to time." said Chris. "oh." said Teepo. Anyway, we continued on our journey to find the restroom, only to stop about five times to pee on the walls, and to yell at Faust for following us. We were bored and marking territory on the way, so freaking what?! When we did find the bathroom, there was some type of floating board in the middle of the room, hovering over the toilet. "I get to use it first!" I yelled into Teepo's ear. "The board?" he asked. "No, the bathroom!" I exclaimed back. And with that, I went in and took a 3 hour dump.


	6. Day 671

Day 671 1:00 A.M.

Well, I remember Emerld and me searching for the bathroom, then he went in it... 3 hours ago! Well, he dropped the journal before he went in, so here's me! "Emerld get out of there now!" I yelled as I had to go. "I'm outta toilet paper... must... not use socks... too late." Emerld said before finally opening the door, he noticed that I now had my collection of plushies with me. "Why did you go get all these dolls?" He asked. "I didn't, they all came to me, they can't stand being away from me." I told him. "Uh, ok... I guess." He replied. "Well? Aren't you going to use the bathroom?" He asked. "No, I don't have to go." I said. "But you just said you had to go!" he said irritated. "Well, I lied." I replied to him. "Then why did you make me get out?" he asked confused. "Oh, that guy was creeping me out!" I said as I pointed to Don Knots. Emerld then took a good look at him and asked: "... Mr. Ferlie?" The ghost of Don Knots then turned and ran away. We went to bed afterwards, but not before agreeing we would find the ghost of Don Knots tomorrow.

Day 671 11:41 A.M.

I woke up the next morning very out of it, I just didn't feel like myself at all, and apparently I had gotten up in the middle of the night to brush my plushies hair, at least that's what Kaylee said because I kicked her out of the bed that night... I don't remember this happening but she was on the floor when I woke up and the plushies were in her place. I apologized to her and went downstairs to check on the others. I got down there and noticed Chris duct taping his foot back on... I don't know what happened there. Emerld was in the kitchen making waffles... out of pancakes. Jack was punching a side of beef, which turned out to be Faust sleeping in a big sack hung from the ceiling. Then Faust ripped out of the bag scaring the shit out of Jack. "Well, that was a nice sleep, that bag has some kind of massager built in." Faust said as he walked into the kitchen to get some waffles. "Everyone, I hate to tell you this, but we're not alone in this house, last night me and Emerld encountered the ghosts of Don Knots." I announced to the room. "Really? That's great! Because I found this Ouija board in my room last night, don't know how it got there, or why it was covered in blood, but it was there." Said Jack. "Ok, tonight we'll use it to summon the ghost of Don Knots, agreed?" I asked the room. "Why?" said Chris. "Your all stupid, there's no such things as ghosts, that's what I told the little girl who snuck in my room last night carrying that dead cat." "Ok, you can stay here and finish off the rest of the kitchen appliances, since you've eaten almost all the food." I told him. "Nah, I'll go with you, nothings going to happen to me anyway." he said. Everyone else agreed that we would meet around midnight that night.

Day 670 2:00 P.M.

I was up in my room with Kaylee around this time, making sweet, sweet love... until I woke up. Well, Kaylee was still there. "What were you dreaming about?" she asked. I thought to my self "Don't say sex, don't say sex." "Uh... sex...dang." Yep, I said it. For some reason Faust was in the room too. Kaylee said she had him in here to keep an eye on me, and the plushies, because she hates them. I kept hearing this buzzing noise coming from the outside. I looked out the window to find a crazed hillbilly with a sack over his face running around with a chainsaw! "Holy shit! Come look at this guy!' I told both Kaylee and Faust. They both came to the window and then Faust said: "Oh, that's Dr. Salvador." Then Kaylee asked " You know him?" :Sure I do, I'm gonna go kill that bastard!" Exclaimed Faust before pulling out both his harpoon gun, and his shotgun. I bet you can guess what he did, yep, he somehow combined the two items into one super killing utensil! Then he ran down to the end of the hall, and jumped out the window. Kaylee began to say something. "So Teepo, you gonna g..." I don't remember what happened after that, because I totally blacked out.

Day 670 8:46 P.M.

I don't know what happened, but I woke up in the front room where all the others were just sitting around. "What happened?" I asked. "Oh nothing, except you went nuts and tried to throw your girlfriend down the stairs." Said Jack. "Then she kicked you, and I came in to see what was the matter, and you bit me." he continued. "Yeah, and then I came in, and tackled you, beat you over the dead, and put you in a sack." said Chris. "How did you know what was going on?" I asked him. "I didn't, but you ate the last of the cheese its." he said. "Oh, well is Kaylee ok?" I asked. Yeah, she's fine, she refuses to sleep in your room with those plushies though," Said Faust who walked in and reloaded his new toy. "She was going to stay in Chris's room, but after about two minutes she came out saying she saw a ghost... being eaten by another ghost." he continued. "So where is she staying now?" I asked. "She's staying in the room next to yours, for now." he replied. "Ok... so what ever happened with that sack face guy?" I asked Faust. "Oh yeah, it turns out he was the gardener, good guy too, until we started playing hide and seek with our toys, he cut me good he did! But I got him back! hehe." Faust went on to himself after that, because I stopped listening. "Ok, we still on for midnight? because I gotta go convince Kaylee to stay with the plushies, I know! I'll give her one as a gift!" And with those words I went upstairs until it was time to summon Don Knots.

Day 670 12:00 midnight.

Ok, I got Kaylee calmed down, and she did not like the idea of me giving her a plushie... at all... maybe I should have given her one with both eyes. Anyway, we set up the Ouija board in the front room and began to summon Don Knots. It would've worked too, but right in the middle guess what happens? Jack's cell phone starts ringing and ruins the whole thing! "God damn it jack! Now we'll never see Don Knots!" I yelled at him. "Wait, you've had a cell phone this whole time? Who's calling you!?" I asked. "It's... it's Faust!" he said. Then I looked over at Faust who was holding another cell phone and giving a thumbs up. I guess I blacked out again, because when I woke up the next morning the cell phones were broken and I felt really stiff... like a doll or something, I shook it off though and chucked the journal at Emerld.


	7. Day 672

Day 672 5:22 am

Well, I got a big ass bump on the back of my dead, thanks to Teepo for throwing it at me. I was walking down the hallway when he opened his door just to throw that damned thing at me, then slammed the door. Most likely going back to sleep. Anyway, its about 6 in the morning now, and I needed to get something to eat for breakfast before the incredible garbage disposal wakes up to eat it all. Faust ended up talking to me after Teepo went insane last night and broke both Jack's and Faust's cell phones, probably destroying our only chances of escape. He said something about how he is the true puppeteer, and that we are his puppets. Anyway, he told me that later today, that we might actually be going home, but I really don't believe him on that, since he does screw with our minds on a daily basis. I did get breakfast, Chris woke up a little later, only to ask if I bought anymore cheese twinkies yet, which he then threw a chair at me for not have done so. Kaylee woke up, said she had a bad night trying to sleep, kept saying that the plushies were out to get her. I think I freaked her out even more when I pulled one up onto the counter to show that Teepo had given me one as a present. she ran screaming back to her room...I think she went to pack, what do you think?

Day 672 noon

Yep, Faust had us all gather into the main living room, including his brother-in-law from the outside, the gardener. "Today, we will be going home, so pack ya bags folks!" Faust screamed into our faces. "Finally." said Kaylee. "I like it here." said Teepo. "Is it because of the plushies?" I asked him back. He shook his head fast meaning no, but then turned his head completely around, starting to foam at the mouth, kinda like a rabid dog. "Um, Teepo" I said, "you got something on your face." "Mph!" he slung the foam around, like an idiot, then ran upstairs like a baboon, slamming the door upon entry. "Go talk to him." Chris told Kaylee. "NO!" she yelped at him. Then Teepo opened the door, slammed it again, looked at Chris, and jumped down the stairs, lunging at Kaylee, like a rabid chimp, only For her to pass out at the site, and Jack screamed "HOME RUN!!!" as he slammed a baseball bat that I don't know where he found, into Teepo's stomach, knocking him back upstairs, into his room...still, that was pretty funny, because you would have laughed if you'd have been there to see it. Faust announced one minute after that, that we'd be going home, on the same bus that brought us here, running on pig fat. We cheered for joy, we thought that Teepo might get better because Faust was taking us home.

Day 672 5 pm

"Dammit Faust!" I screamed at the bagged man driving the bus "I think your going around in circles!" "Nope!" he yelled back at me. he told us that he had directions on how to get back home, but I was not too sure about that. By the time the bus did come to a halt again, we were back in front of the house...we went in circles, only to end up stranded in the haunted house, of the stuff. Teepo ran straight back into the home, Kaylee wanted to stay in the bus, and the others went in too. That's it. now that bastard Teepo can stop foaming at the mouth, speaking the blarghed language of shit talk, and write the next part so he can stop biting me.


	8. Day 673

Day 673 - 12:00 noon.

I seriously don't know what's happening to me, I read Emerld's part of the journal, and don't remember me doing any of that stuff. "I wonder what could be causing this?" I asked my plushies. Well, it's noon, if the journal is correct we almost escaped, and I blacked out until just now... Anyway, I went downstairs to the front room to find everyone once again. "OH GOD HE'S AWAKE!" Kaylee yelled as I walked down the stairs, then Jack jumped from a hook stuck in the ceiling and bashed my skull in.

Day 673 - 2:34 P.M

I awoke again, this time with a headache. I was apparently tied up in a room, it wouldn't have been as bad if I wasn't in Chris's room. "AHHHHHHH!!!" was what the others heard downstairs, before I burst through the door and rolled downstairs. "He's back!" Screamed Jack. This time, I threw the chair they had tied me to at him. "What is everyone's problem with me all of the sudden!?" I asked. "Well, for one a few hours ago when Jack hit you, you got back up after having your skull crushed, and strangled Jack, me, and Kaylee with some kind of green energy thingy." Chris explained. "And then I came in and saved the day!" Yelled Faust as he popped up behind me. "How did you do that?" I asked. "Ki Blast." he replied. "Well, whatever, I'm better now!" I said. "BURN THOSE DAMN PLUSHIES!" Kaylee screamed. "Yeah seriously, they are controlling you and your too stupid to realize it!" Explained Jack. "Your all stupid! And if anyone burns us, I'll kill em!" I explained in two different voices at once. "Whoa, that was cool." I said, then I asked everyone how things were going besides me. "Well, I saw this one dude in my room playing the bongos." Chris explained. "He was cool, he had no face, but kick ass dreadlocks!" he continued. "But then the ass started smoking, so I sent him out, then he did this cool trick and faded away!" he finished. "I crushed the back of this one girl's skull." Said Jack. "That was me!" I yelled at him. "Whoops, sorry." he apologized. "I spent the day trying to forget my boyfriend is possessed by demon plushies... until I found that room with the dog track in it..." Kaylee said and then shuttered. "And you?" I said as I looked at Faust. "I gotta go make dinner!" Faust said in a panic and then blast off as his feet turned to rockets. "Ok, and what about you?" I asked the crazed hillbilly gardener. He just growled and chain sawed through the wall running deep into the cornfield. "...OK." I said before following Kaylee upstairs.

Day 673 - 4:55 P.M.

Well, it took me awhile to get into the room with Kaylee, but I did it. "Come on Kaylee! JOIN US! I mean talk to me!" I said in the cool double voice again as she cowered in the corner. "Get away from me!" She yelled and threw things at me. At that moment Chris came in the room. "Why is there a hole shaped like Teepo in the wall?" He asked. "HELP ME!" Screamed Kaylee. "No Chris, we're all fine, all of us! Now, go make us some tea will you!" Said the Bridget plushies... or, uhh... me I guess. "OK, see you in a bit!" Chris said as he left Kaylee. "Teepo, leave me alone, I just want to get out of this house, BURN THOSE DOLLS, and get you back to normal!" She warned me. "I got an idea, let's burn ME, and leave the house alone, and go back to live with the plushies!!!" Said me, and me, and me. Then she had to stop me from lighting myself on fire... no girlfriend should ever have to do that, she must really love the plushies... I mean the plushies... I mean me. Afterwards she calmed down and got me to go back to normal... then I fell asleep.

Day 674 - 6:00 PM

I was awake before I wanted to get up, apparently there was an epidemic going on outside my room, the plushies were attacking the room mates! The gardener had also gone nuts after losing a game of Russian roulette to Faust. That wasn't all, Chris still didn't get his damn twinkies, so he was breaking shit too! Kaylee was paralyzed at this time, and Jack was trying to fight off the monsters, while Faust was playing with a ball and cup. "Hehe, ball... cup" said Faust as he gazed into it. "FAUST! Help out man!" I yelled at him. "Oh, right!" he said, then he ate the ball and cup, and spit out a tornado destroying everything in the front room and blowing everyone away except Chris and one Bridget plushie. "MY PLUSHIES!" I screamed as I grabbed the remaining plushie. Then, the door busted open and in came a family of 5 people. "Who the fuck are you people, what are you doing in my house, why is he whering a bag over his head, and why is that guy eating my couch!!!" Screamed the man who came in. "You were out of real food, it's not my fault!" Chris yelled back. "Wait, your house? This house is abandoned in the middle of no where, and it's haunted!" Emerld yelled at him. "It's not haunted and it's not abandoned! We just left for a week because we filled the house with deadly bug poison! After he yelled at us, he kicked us out and sent us too a bus stop... we owe him $80,000,000... We got home, everyone had something to remember the vacation by, I had the last plushie still. Emerld took the toaster... it had a hand in it. Chris brought back the Cheese Twinkies stash he found under the carpet. Jack brought back his super ball, plus a bunch more he found with it. Faust brought back the moose head hat he made. And Kaylee... well she didn't want anything, but she finally went back to normal, and let me keep the plushie. Yay!


End file.
